webdevmatt

I know how this crowd loves “potty” stories so here’s we go again. This time at about mile 3 the stomach started rumbling, and sure enough the bathroom was closed. I pressed on with some encouragement and finally found a gas station. As I unlocked the door and peered in, all I could think about was “find a happy place”. As my stomach made another unruly sound, I transformed from Loyd Chrismas to Harry Dunne in a matter of moments. As if I were in,  Mary Swim? Swammi? Slippy? Slappy? Swenson? Swanson?’s bathroom, the most repelling sounds started coming from my ass. The explosion into the toilet was as powerful as an M80 up a frogs butt. I guess it’s not wise to eat a veggie sandwich from subway for lunch before a run, not only is there adverse effects to the intestine, but if someone were to investigate that crap, they would be hard pressed to figure out what it was. “Looks like this guy ate liquid crap for lunch?” As the violence subsided, there was a nice smooth finish and wipe with a hint of burn (an explanation for the wine coinsures out there). The run went on without a hitch, and the adventure was over once again.

Lesson Learned: Mark knows what he’s talking about when he says “no roughage before a run.” (that has a catchy ring to it, try saying it to yourself as if you were on a picket line or rally)

 We pound our legs many miles a week. Sometimes it’s hard, sometimes it’s easy, it is usually accompanied by a little pain. But here’s why I run; Good friends, great weather, competition, and the exhilaration of the body alone taking you to so many places you can’t get with with your car. I can babble on forever, but thanks to “imaging technology”, yes a digicam, I’ll spare you all this time:

 
Green Lakes 55degrees(click to enlarge)

P.S. Charles, could have used some vasoline today :|. Perfect weather for running = perfect weather for chafing

First the trots now the raw beef between the thighs. I know what your thinking Piat, but that’s not what I’m talking about, I know how you love a nice “beef drape” every once and a while. Along with the trots there’s this another equally uncomfortable, if not painful, side effect of not having a runners body, and running, and that’s the inner thigh chafe.

Yesterday, donning my shorts with compression shorts emended in them (they have some how contracted a hole in the most inconvenient of areas), purchased explicitly for preventing the chafe, I was almost brought back to my freshman year of college. <flash backs music with Wayne and Garth moving their hands and fingers up and down muttering “doodleee doo, doodleee doo, doodleee doo>

That’s right chafing to the point of near bleeding. The inner thigh swelling like water balloon on the verge of breaking to a point of perspiration. A tragedy was avoided this time, but what will happen next time. I think it’s time to retire the Acics shorts that served me well for 5 runs, yes that’s it 5 runs. Maybe this post should be attached to a letter to Quality Control over at Asics, it can’t hurt right. What’s the worst they can say, “Your not a runner, runners legs don’t touch in the middle. These shorts were made for support, not chafing.” Who knows?

Moral: If you don’t ask, you will never know.

So, what’s up w/ Mountain Dew. Good stuff right, but now they have “Game Fuel”. They’re Marketing Red Dew as a way to make you better at Halo 3, WTF is that? I understand “Doing The Dew”  as the “X Game” fuel which promotes extreme sports. I will even go as far as to acknowledge extreme sports’ correlation with video games, but is this the type of marketing we really need for today’s youth. “Be cool, if you can’t participate in extreme sports, sit on your couch and consume our kick ass “Video Game Fuel”. It’s just like doing extreme sports except your sitting on the couch, or maybe your favorite chair or floor ;)”.

Has anyone had the Game Fuel yet? Let us know how it is. I do love the Dew, but “Game Fuel”,  it’s like playing the Lottery?

So, the body and mind is back again, but this time with a twist. So we’re off for a 14 mile trek on foot, my longest run by 25% more than the past long one last week. Myself and a trusty running partner.

It all started with an explanation of a 3lb dump. You heard it right, a weigh in before and after crapping, and the result was 3lbs. Quite impressive, am I right? Who can top it? At the end of this topic was the prediction of a second coming of the Trots. “We’ll see what happens at mile 4” (inside joke).

Maybe that’s what got me through, or so goes the theory? The first 10 miles seemed to be cake, then the physical breakdown. Every step was my longest run, but with my partner at my side, we kept moving with idle chat chit making the miles melt away like the butter on my corn the night before (and by the way mile 4 did not bring any other things melting or squishing from any orifice but the sweat glands ;)).

Moral of the story: Not crapping your pants is good, but it’s easier with a friend who can mentally redirect your thoughts to other things.